Brett&#039;s Two Cents

October 5, 2019

Hello, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my last two columns on the Galileo affair. I’ve heard from some people who loved it, and from others who said, “Enough of the history already—where’s the fun stuff?!?”

Now, now, children, sometimes we have to work before we can play. Still, in an attempt to keep the readership happy, I give you the following amusing (and somewhat pointed?) aphorisms. Enjoy!

If you don't have a sense of humor you probably don't have any sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4:00am; for example, it could be the right number.
No one ever says “It's only a game” when their team is winning.
I've reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
And finally: Politicians and diapers should be changed often and for the same reason!