Brett's Two-Cents

Hello, everyone. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Darwin Awards? If not, “the Darwin Awards are a tongue-in-cheek honor, originating in Usenet newsgroup discussions around 1985. They recognize individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by selecting themselves out of the gene pool via death or sterilization by their own actions” (thanks, Wikipedia!). Anyway, our old friend Don Ferris sent over the following candidates recently; enjoy! 
 

I’m a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. This woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants aren’t harmful (they might even have some health benefits) and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. Gob smacked, I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
 

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap. He received in the mail a ticket for $140 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. The motorist immediately mailed in the $140.
 

A guy walked into a corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. As the cashier put it in a bag, the robber demanded the cashier put a bottle of Scotch in the bag as well. The cashier refused and said, “I don't believe you are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused. The robber took out his driver's license and gave it to the clerk, who then agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and put the Scotch in the bag. After he left, the cashier promptly called police, giving them the name and address from the license. They arrested the Scotch-loving robber two hours later.