Brett&#039;s Two Cents

October 3, 2020

Hello everyone! Ah, October! One of my favorite months!

Did you know that in addition to the turning of the seasons and the coloring of the leaves — not to mention Halloween! — October is also national pizza month! I mean, need I say more? (actually, no, but I suspect you’ll keep right on going anyway…) Quiet, Fr. Hans!

Okay, once more I have some humorous COVID-19 internet memes for you, courtesy of one of our parish’s finest. Wouldn’t it be amazing if this was the last time I did a column on COVID-19, at least in the present tense? Here you go; feel free to ponder these during Fr. Hans’ homily. Just don’t laugh aloud; he tends to be a bit sensitive. . .

You never realize how antisocial you are until there’s a pandemic and your life doesn’t really change that much.
(sign outside a bar): Education is important, but opening the pubs is importanter!
Had I known in March that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant, I would have ordered the dessert.
My cat just came home with 24 bags of kitty litter. Time to stop this nonsense.
So, in retrospect, in 2015 not a single person got the answer right to, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
When this virus thing is over with, I STILL want some of you to stay away from me.
So for Season 2 — I mean, the second wave — can we switch quarantine partners, or are we stuck with the same ones from Season 1?
It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to homeschool one.
News flash! Sticking your tongue on an outdoor bug zapper lamp kills COVID-19. Yep! I read it on the internet!
Good morning, fellow inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs?
(This is my favorite, by far!): If you want to save money this Christmas, now’s the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn’t make it through the pandemic.