Brett&#039;s Two Cents

December 5, 2020

Hello, everyone! Happy Advent!

I don’t know where Indian Hills Community Center is, but they have some hilarious sayings posted regularly on their road sign — ALMOST as good as Ingrid’s postings on our own sign. Here is a sampling. Enjoy!

I was kidnapped by mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
A perfectionist walked into a bar. Apparently it wasn’t set high enough.
Police car loses wheel to thief! Officers are working tirelessly to nab suspect.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.
Due to quarantine, I’ll only be doing inside jokes.
Have you noticed that “the” and “IRS” spell “theirs”?
I wanted to be a monk, but I never got the chants.
If your guy doesn’t appreciate fresh fruit puns, let that mango.
To the thief who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts.
Big-a-mist: an Italian fog.
Went to this horrible bar called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn.
My friend David had his id stolen; now he’s just Dav.
My friend was explaining electricity, and I was like, “watt?”
A few puns make me numb, but math puns make be number.
Cold? Go stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo incident; now he’s in ICU.
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me. I was like, “what the Hellman?”