Reconciliation (Confession)

Sin can only be understood in the context of our relationship with God: His love for us and our love for Him. Sin is a deliberate doing of something we know is harmful to that relationship with God and others.

Because we feel “guilty” about something does not make it sin. Missing Mass because of sickness or bad weather is not a sin, and should not be confessed. True guilt needs to lead to action — of repentance, change; false guilt needs to be acknowledged as false and then ignored.

Examining our Conscience is the way we prepare for confession.  A good question to ponder is: in what ways in my life have I not been the “best version of myself” — in my actions, inaction, and words.  Consider that in regard to family, friends, job, self, God, and others.

Avoid confessing a “list” of sins. With a bit more prayer and reflection it will quickly be evident the underlying causes of sin, and that is what needs to be confessed, usually not more than two of three things.

Detail is not needed or helpful in confessing. Simply mention the sins you have prayerfully identified: no excuses or justification or explanation is needed.

Be alert to scrupulosity or any kind of nitpicking. It is not a sign of holiness, but an inordinate focus on self. Confession is ultimately a focus on God’s mercy and forgiveness — more than on our shortcomings.

Seldom is it fruitful to confess more than once a month. A daily Act of Contrition with regular examination of conscience is the “ordinary” way we seek God’s forgiveness.  Confession is then what we do after deeper reflection. For many people, two or three times a year works just fine.

Don’t worry about forgetting to mention something and then later remembering it. Your intention is what counts: making a good Confession.